The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize