i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she pinky promised me she was 18
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
