She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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