U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
