I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
