i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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