its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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