He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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