Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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