I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize