I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
operation have a gay friend backfired
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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