Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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