I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
