no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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