how can u be prego again
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize