alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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