everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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