Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
