How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize