I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My dick has a subreddit
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh god it's open bar.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
