i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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