Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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