If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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