He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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