After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
