where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Someone shit on the floor
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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