I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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