She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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