Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
