things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
being pregnant is like rehab
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
