is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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