:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this will be a night to untag.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
