After last night, I could never be a politician.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
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you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
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I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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