After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
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I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
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E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself