We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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