well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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