Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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