I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
