I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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