I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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