Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize