Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
