i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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