So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
