you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
