Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
