hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
