what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
