Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
