hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
