As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
