Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My room smells like vodka and shame
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
