Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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