I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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