When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
