i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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