it wasn't lemon gatorade
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
