Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
True strength comes from lack of pants
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
