she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
